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Honey Lazar's avatar

"feistier and wartier" will keep me smiling all day long. I understand the notion of labels, and I am always checking "mine," but I am not "label-free" in my thinking. Not yet. Always a work in progress. I was just at a surprise party for a friend turning 70 where guests were given hats that said, "Don't let the old man in" from the Toby Keith song inspired by Clint Eastwood's response to having so much energy at 92. He said, " I get up every morning and don't let the old man in." The birthday friend did say the song also applied to "women," but we get the idea minus a gender label! I have adopted this notion each morning for my husband and for me. Here are the lyrics: Lyrics

Don't let the old man in

I wanna leave this alone

Can't leave it up to him

He's knocking on my door

And I knew all of my life

That someday it would end

Get up and go outside

Don't let the old man in

Many moons I have lived

My body's weathered and worn

Ask yourself how would you be

If you didn't know the day you were born

Try to love on your wife

And stay close to your friends

Toast each sundown with wine

Don't let the old man in

Many moons I have lived

My body's weathered and worn

Ask yourself how would you be

If you didn't know the day you were born

When he rides up on his horse

And you feel that cold bitter wind

Look out your window and smile

Don't let the old man in

Look out your window and smile

Don't let the old man in

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Karen Sandstrom's avatar

This is just wonderful, Honey -- thank you! Love it!

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Meredith's avatar

I was just talking with myself about this! I’m in absolute agreement that putting “elderly “ in front of an age is unnecessary and, quite frankly, rude. Would one read, “ white, overweight, Methodist “ before an age as well?

In my mind, because my mind needs to categorize, I think of the ages 0-25 as youth, 25-50 young adult, 50-75 middle-aged adult, 75-100 older adult, 100+ elderly.

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Karen Sandstrom's avatar

I love this perspective: Would one (write) "white, overweight Methodist"? (One would not! At least not this one.)

And I general concur with your categories, as well as your point about the mind needing to categorize.

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Lori Faust's avatar

I'm 61 and didn't consider myself "old," until my husband fell (not because he's become frail or unsteady; he tripped over a dog on the stairs, so just unlucky!), and so many of the questions and comments we've encountered from the medical establishment since his resulting shoulder surgery seem so ageist!

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Karen Sandstrom's avatar

I know just what you mean. My husband was in the hospital several years ago and they gave him a yellow wrist band to denote "falling risk." And that made ME feel old!

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Lori Faust's avatar

Exactly! I kept wanting to say, "We're in our 60s, not 80s!" But then I'M assigning an age to "elderly"!

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PATRICIA JOSEPH's avatar

My undergraduate students once described middle age as 45. Their reasoning? “No one can expect to live longer than 90, so 45 is middle-aged.” At the time, I was 47. I am now 77.5 years old. I’m NOT “elderly.” Nor am I a grandmother. 😎

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Katy Adams's avatar

Hi Karen, I just upgraded to paid subscription in part to comment here about "elderly." As a gerontological social work former professor and researcher, I am in the loop about these things, and indeed, "elderly" is frowned upon by journals that I review for such as "The Gerontologist," among others. I agree that it has negative connotations of frailty and decline. However, they also don't want authors to use the term "elders." Now there, I disagree, as for whatever reason, elder has different connotations, like tribal elders and elders of a church. As one who writes research articles and lay articles about such topics, I do get a little weary of writing "older adults" over and over, but it is a correct and accepted term of description.

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Karen Sandstrom's avatar

Katy: First, thank you for your support! I am truly grateful.

Second, I'm glad that gerontology is onto this issue, and I'm with you on the importance of the word "elders" in the traditional way it has been used.

Funny thing: My day job is medical writing, and yesterday I was interviewing a physician who said about a drug we were discussing "It's generally for elderly people 60 and older."

It was all I could do to keep a straight face.

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PATRICIA JOSEPH's avatar

Amen, sister!

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